When You’re Busy Taking Care of Others, Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself--guest post by April Yamasaki

Continuing the theme of my last post—selfcare—April Yamasaki gives us sound reasons and biblical precedent for taking care of ourselves, even as we care for others.

“You cannot serve from an empty vessel,” says educator and author Eleanor Brownn. That’s a solid, common-sense approach to self-care. When we’ve exhausted our mental and emotional energy, when we’re physically worn out and ill, when our spiritual and creative resources have been spent, our vessel is empty, and we’re simply not equipped to help others. Self-care means that we need to take care of ourselves first.

But what about the call of Christ to pick up our cross and follow (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23)? What of Jesus’ example of service in washing his disciples’ feet (John 13:1-19) and sacrificing his own life as “a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45)? Isn’t self-care as “me first” contrary to our Christian calling and to the biblical witness of sacrificial service?

When my mother was ill and needed more care, I made the two-hour round trip to see her several times a week. As my mother-in-law’s dementia progressed, and then my father-in-law was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, I did as much as I could to support them too. I felt stretched beyond my ability to care for all three at the same time, on top of my own home life and ministry as a full-time pastor.

Yet during that intense time, I also learned the value of self-care—not so much as “me first,” but caring for myself while also caring for the people I loved. Self-care and service were not mutually exclusive; instead, self-care sustained and enabled my life of service.

Since then, I’ve also learned more about self-care in the Bible:

· When Moses spent day after day settling disputes for his people, his father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. You will surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone” (Exodus 18:17-18). Instead, Moses’ father-in-law urged him to delegate some of his responsibilities, which was both good self-care for Moses and good community care for his people.

· When a lawyer asked Jesus about the greatest commandment in the law, Jesus replied: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22:37-39). In these words of Jesus, loving your neighbor and loving yourself go together.

· When Jesus’ disciples were engaged in ministry that left them with little time to eat, Jesus urged them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while” (Mark 6:31). They needed to take care of themselves.

· When Jesus was “tired out from his journey” through Samaria, he sat down at a well to rest, and asked a Samaritan woman for a drink of water, while his disciples went to get him some food (John 4:6-8). Even for Jesus, ministry and self-care were not mutually exclusive.

· While the Bible includes these and other examples of self-care, it also clearly grounds our self-care in God’s care for us. The commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” occurs in the context of the first great commandment to “love God” with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37-39). When we are weary, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

So when you’re busy taking care of others, don’t forget to take care of yourself too. You’re in good company with Moses, with Jesus’ disciples, and with our Lord himself. “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

April Yamasaki is resident author with a liturgical worship community in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada; editor of Purpose, a monthly magazine of everyday inspiration; and speaks widely in churches and other settings. She is the author of Four Gifts: Seeking Self-care for Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength and other books on Christian living. You can find her online at https://aprilyamasaki.com .